


Checking Out Books

by Laurasauras



Series: AO3 Anniversary Flash Fiction [33]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardianswap (Homestuck), First Meetings, M/M, fanfic giveaway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 07:26:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16035752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/Laurasauras
Summary: John has a crush on the cute guy who is always at the library.





	Checking Out Books

**Author's Note:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> [homeskiddadle](https://homeskidaddle.tumblr.com/) here (tumblr wont let me use my sideblog for asks! rude) /whispers: if ur still doing the writing thing... can u... can u write cute dirkjohn but with my alpha kid guardianswap headcanon dirk -(homeskidaddle.tumblr.com/post/177613284049/) i am so shameless but i just crave john crushing sumthing awful on cute dirk lalonde

He's so cute. He's so cute and he absolutely does not work at the library. You've never seen him wearing a lanyard and despite the frankly adorable sweater vests he favours, he just doesn't present like a librarian. Or even like an employee. Not that you would be surprised to see a librarian wearing the adorable cat pins that are attached to his collars (and joined in the middle by a chain, you actually might die while peeking at him between the shelves). You just would be pretty surprised to see one wearing ginormous don't-talk-to-me headphones. 

Which are currently making you feel like he doesn't want you to talk to him. But you  _really_ want to talk to him. And for some reason the only way you can think of doing that is to ask him if he knows where you can find the book you've got written down on a slip of paper. You might have texted Jade and asked for the funnest/ smartest/ most appealing book that you could ask after. You don't want your first impression to be that of a guy who has read the Ghostbusters novels multiple times, even if that's true. But he doesn't work here, and that's rude, right? 

You end up doing what you do every time you can't make your mind up about something; you barrel right the fuck into the situation anyway. Literally. You just walk right on into him.

He catches your forearms and steadies you before you both fall over, somehow not dropping the book he's holding. He tilts his headphones off  so that they rest on his neck as he lets you go. 

'Are you okay?' he asks.

'Yes!' you say. Oh god, John, learn some volume control! 'Sorry about that! I was looking for a book and I forgot to look out for humans!' You laugh nervously. 

He gives a tiny smile of pity-humour before moving to slide his headphones back into place. 

'Um!' you say. 

He stops and looks at you again. His glasses suit him a lot better than yours suit you, and you're getting a little distracted by his golden eyes. And his everything. 

'Do you know where I can find this?' you ask, shoving the paper at him. 

He looks down at it. He frowns. He looks back up at you, still frowning. At least it's a confused frown, not an angry frown. Oh no, has Jade given you a really weird book to ask about?

'I mean, you're in entirely the wrong section, for a start,' he says. 'But how did you know who I am?'

You have no idea what he's talking about. You might have been visiting the library more than necessary over the last couple weeks because you wanted an excuse to talk to him, but you don't even know his name! And what would a book have to do with any of that?

'I take it from your expression you don't actually know who I am and this is just the weirdest coincidence of all time. Um. My mom wrote this.'

You feel your eyebrows raise as you search for something intelligent to say. 

'My sister recommended it! I don't even know what it's about.'

He looks at you skeptically.

'Wizards, mostly. There's some political shit and some pretty heavily implied homo-eroticism between most of the characters. I would say villains, except Calmasis really is the villain. Sorry, you just want to know where the book is. It's three shelves back from the window, kinda in the middle, on this side. Lalonde. Black spine. Big enough to knock someone out.'

He smiles awkwardly and takes a step back from you.

'I'm John,' you say. Maybe you should just leave him alone.

'Dirk,' he says. 'Sorry for talking your ear off.'

'I liked it! You can have ... my ear ...'

You probably need to never speak to anyone ever again. 

Dirk looks down and smiles in this adorable way like he's really trying not to smile, pressing his lips together as his eyes crinkle.

'I refuse to encourage you by laughing at that,' he says, even as his voice breaks with the effort of holding back his laughter. 

Oh man, if bad jokes are the way to this boy's heart, you are so set. 

'Hey, what do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?' you ask, grinning in anticipation. 

He looks at you with horror, but he's turning towards you and he looks a lot more relaxed, so you think it evens out.

'No ...' he says.

'Irrelephant,' you say.

He really tries not to laugh. You see it all over his face, he almost visibly goes through the five stages of dad joke before he gives in. You really like his voice when he laughs. 

'What do you call a detective who's also a crocodile?'

'I don't know, John.'

'An investigator!'

He covers his face with the book he's holding and groans, but his shoulder shake with laughter.

'What do I have to do to make you stop?' he says.

'Go on a date with me?' you say, before your brain can catch up with what your mouth is doing. Then it does and you blush horribly and look at your shoes intently. Maybe you should just bolt. 'Oh my god, um, only if you want to, that was ... way too forward. I ...'

'Okay,' he says.

'Really?' you blurt.

'Yeah, one sec.' He pulls a pen from behind his ear (oh god, that's just unfairly adorable, you didn't even notice that) and writes in neat cursive on the piece of paper he's still holding. He hands it to you and you squint to make out his aesthetically pleasing, yet bordering on illegible handwriting. It's a pesterchum handle:  _tanninTaunter_. 

'Message me. I'm usually around. Let me know what you think of  _Complacency_. Unless you hate it. I mean. Yeah, actually, that might be a deal-breaker, I fucking love wizards.'

You grin at him and fold the piece of paper carefully in your pocket. You give him a classic double pistols and a wink as you back away from him and towards the shelf he pointed to. Your grandpa would be so proud. He looks a little stunned before laughing to himself.


End file.
